Why I Became A Coach
Before becoming a coach, I earned my bachelor’s in psychology and started graduate school to become a master of social work, with plans to become a therapist. However, in the summer of 2021, just a month before starting grad school, I discovered through TikTok that I was an undiagnosed autistic ADHDer at 29 years old. This revelation turned my life upside down, and I had to rethink everything I’d been doing.
As a newly identified auDHDer, I absorbed all the information I could about ADHD and autism, which quickly became my new special interest. I juggled this newfound knowledge with my grad school workload, only to find that my program didn’t adequately cover neurodivergence or trauma-informed care. Realizing that my self-taught knowledge surpassed that of my peers (and sometimes even my professors) I decided to drop out in February 2022 and open my own coaching business.
I chose to be an auDHD coach for two main reasons:
1) First, as someone with ADHD and autism myself, I understand the unique challenges and experiences that come with this combination.
2) Second, I struggled to find resources that specifically addressed the ADHD/autistic “combo meal,” and I want to change that by providing valuable guidance and sharing what I’ve learned with others.
Throughout my journey, I’ve learned the importance of radical self-acceptance and shifting my focus to adapt my environment to better suit my needs. I stopped forcing myself to meet society’s expectations and instead embraced my unique abilities, finally rediscovering the inner spark that had been missing for years.
As an auDHD coach, my mission is to empower fellow autistic ADHDers in embracing their unique strengths and abilities. By offering guidance and practical tools, I aim to help my clients dismantle perfectionist expectations and replace shame with radical self-acceptance.
My goal is to provide personalized strategies that cater to the auDHD experience, enabling individuals to navigate their lives with confidence and authenticity. Drawing from my own journey of self-discovery, I am committed to helping others redefine success on their own terms and create fulfilling lives tailored to their needs.
After 3 decades of searching, I have truly found myself, and I’d love to help you discover what that means for you.
My Personal Backstory
Although I didn’t realize I was autistic and ADHD until I was 29, I’ve been on an active journey towards radical self-love ever since I left an emotionally abusive relationship at age 21.
After 5 years of trying to change myself and doing everything I could to make him happy, including sacrificing my own needs and sense of self, I decided it was time to start putting myself first, and I left him.
I spent most of my 20s letting go of the opinions of others, and doing what made me happy. I made a promise that I would never allow myself to be treated that way again, and I didn’t.
From that point forward, as soon as I started to get a gut feeling that someone wasn’t right, I would drop them like Andy dropped Woody in Toy Story.
And I also spent most of my twenties alone.
I lived alone, and I didn’t have many friends outside of work. I didn’t spend much time socializing, partly because I’m autistic and partly because I worked at a bakery and had to wake up at 2am every day.
But during that time, I really got to learn about myself and unmask a bit, without even realizing that’s what I was doing at the time. I’ve been living a life based on what I want to do and what I value for a decade now.
However, being undiagnosed meant that I continued to set impossible goals for myself, and hold myself to unrealistic standards. I pushed myself, continuing my overachieving, people-pleasing, perfectionistic tendencies, until finally the pandemic hit and I was launched into burnout that I’m still recovering from.
Realizing I was auDHD was the final missing piece I needed to really figure myself out, let my authentic self show, and start intentionally unmasking for the first time. It allowed me to start addressing my internalized ableism for what it was, and accept that I can’t, in fact, do everything, nor do I need to.
The Human Behind The Coach
Some non-coaching related facts about me:
- I’m bisexual and nonbinary (specifically autigender), and my pronouns are she/they
- I live in upstate New York with my girlfriend of 3 years, and we have 3 cats
- Virgo sun, leo rising, cancer moon (she’s driven, but sensitive)
- I have a degree in baking and pastry arts, and I spent 6 years working at a bakery cafe, doing everything from baking to food prep to sandwiches to espresso drinks. My boss once called me the “Swiss army knife” of the bakery – thanks, ADHD!
- Along with autism and ADHD, I also have CPTSD, hyperlexia, dyscalculia, aphantasia, hEDS, TMJ, eczema, and IBS
- I watched Billy Madison almost every day from age 2-7
- I have 13 tattoos, and I got two of them in Europe
- I got to live in Europe for 3 weeks for a study abroad program, and spent 2 weeks in Copenhagen and 1 week in Edinburgh while I studied positive psychology
- I did drag for a couple of years and got to be in the 2019 Buffalo Pride Parade, but my career got cut short due to the pandemic
- Special interests: psychology, neurodivergence, trauma, cats, social justice, baking, Spongebob, knitting/crocheting, Stardew Valley, owls, and lettering/stationery
- I can lick my own elbow