Individual Coaching For AuDHDers, By An AuDHDer
Imagine what your life would look like if you didn’t compulsively doom scroll first thing in the morning:
Every morning, you wake up and immediately grab your phone to start your morning scroll while trying to ignore the thoughts that have already started racing around your head.
That familiar sense of guilt starts looming in your chest as you think about your ever-growing list of things you need to do.
You give yourself a pep talk, that sounds closer to a drill sergeant: “Okay, put the phone down, get up, we were lazy yesterday, but today we get this shit done! Come on, get up!! NOW!!” You wonder, “Haven’t I rested enough??”
Guilt eventually pushes you up. You spend some time flitting between tasks, but can’t seem to get yourself to focus.
Distracted, you think about scrolling some more “until you’re ready to focus.”
Suddenly, it’s 6pm and you’ve spend another whole day doing absolutely nothing, knowing full well you’re going to start this same cycle all over again tomorrow.
Rinse and repeat.
So how do you stop the cycle? Radical self-love.
Interested? Join my email list to be the first to know when spots open up again:
…or keep reading for more info!
When you don’t practice radical self-love, you wind up:
- Falling into the “doom spiral,” using it as a safety net even though you know it hinders your growth
- Engulfed in moments of self-doubt, thinking “everyone else seems to know how to do this, what’s wrong with me that I don’t?”
- Masking your true self to survive in various situations but never feeling authentic or grounded
- Struggling with imposter syndrome that makes you question your abilities and makes it almost impossible to believe in yourself
- Hesitating to reach out for help because you think that you should be able to figure this out on your own
- Convincing yourself that your struggles aren’t “significant enough” compared to others, diminishing your own experiences
Why radical self-love?
Feeling like you’re “stuck,” or not good enough, or are somehow inherently flawed/lazy/too oversensitive to be a responsible adult, are all telltale signs that shame is standing in your way of being able to truly love yourself and put yourself first.
In my program, we’ll dive deep into where shame comes from, how it hides the most interesting parts of you, and how to befriend your inner critic and learn to work with it, using radical self-love as your main tool.
Radical self-love goes beyond things like confidence, self-esteem, and self-acceptance. Self-love allows you to be kind and compassionate toward yourself even when you aren’t confident, or when you don’t believe you’re the greatest human.
Radical self-love helps you feel comfortable and sure about who you are. When you love yourself this way, you don’t need other people’s approval and can trust your own beliefs and feelings to lead the way.
Simply put, radical self-love is more than just being okay with who you are; it’s about fully embracing and celebrating every aspect of yourself, giving you the strength and courage to live a happier life.
But it doesn’t stop there.
When you start practicing radical self-love, it’s tendrils will naturally continue to grow into other areas of your life, reaching your friends, your partner(s), your family, your job, essentially transforming your existence from a small, dark, shame-filled one to one full of abundant love, compassion, joy, and possibility.
What Happens When You Replace Shame With Radical Self-Love?
That drill sergeant that lives in your head and is always criticizing everything you’re doing, whether it’s first thing in the morning or at the end of the day during the “daily evaluation”? He’s still a hard ass, but you learn how to make him laugh and get him to step aside.
When you befriend your inner critic, you quickly find the intelligence behind your protective skills and instincts. You learn what parts of yourself have been hiding, and can start embracing who you are underneath the mask.
You can allow your inner critic to retire, and give it the vacation it deserves for working so tirelessly to keep you safe all this time. And you can learn new, more comfortable, more sustainable ways to navigate stress and manage day-to-day life that don’t involve locking your truest self in a box.
Pretty cool, right? So… how do you get started?
That’s Where My Program Comes In…
I’ve spent the last 10+ years studying and practicing radical self-love after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship that showed me just how little I knew about how to take care of myself.
Some experiences that I’m able to look back on without shame thanks to radical self-love:
- Dropping out of college and going back to school twice, with a different major each time
- Getting bullied in school, in college, and at work just because they could tell something was “off” (hint: it was my autism)
- Getting fired and spending years switching jobs, including spending a year unemployed before finding a job in my field
- Dropping out of grad school again due to auDHD burnout that I’m still managing today
And here’s what my life looks like now:
- Running my own business where I get to follow my passion for helping others
- Being 100% in charge of my life without relying on other people’s expectations or opinions
- Trusting that no matter what happens, whether it’s chaos or crisis, that I’ll be able to get myself to the other side of it
- Setting firm boundaries without guilt and building stronger, deeper relationships because of it
- Prioritizing fun and joy, and allowing all parts of myself to exist without shame or judgment
Because of radical self-love, I’m able to look back on all of the times in my life that I thought I was a complete and total failure with the brightest, most nostalgic eyes, knowing that whatever those past versions of me did was exactly the right decision for me at the time, holding space for all the pain and grief I endured, and grateful for the number of hard life lessons I’ve learned in my 31 years so far on earth.
And I can help you view yourself, and your life, in the same way.
My experience practicing self-love is backed up by:
- Over 4,000+ hours of study and practice, both in academic settings and in real life
- 2 years of embracing my newfound auDHD identity after discovering I am autistic and ADHD at 29 years old
- A lifetime of helping others reconnect to their authentic selves, learn to set boundaries that match their needs, and advocate for themselves
I’ve compiled everything I know about radical self-love into my 8-week individual coaching program, made for auDHDers by an auDHDer.
Here’s What You’ll Get From This Program:
After 1 week, you’ll know how to stop the doom spiral in its tracks and ground yourself within 60 seconds so you can respond more calmly.
After the 1st month, you’ll feel empowered to voice your needs without judgement, or feeling the need to provide a list of reasons why.
After 2 months, you’ll let go of the guilt and heaviness that you feel when you allow yourself to have fun and be confident in your ability to take care of yourself, no matter what.
You’ll walk away with a feeling of true inner belonging and purpose, and know how to radically trust yourself to get through anything.
You will no longer be dealing with shame and internalized ableism that says you aren’t worthy, or are inherently broken.
And as a result, you will be able to make decisions from a place of genuine self-understanding and authentic connection rather than desperation or obligation.
When you’re trying to rest and you hear your inner critic start to yell about how many things you have to do, or how lazy you are, you can calmly thank him and remind him that you’re not worrying about those things at this moment.
Your rest will actually become restful, and you’ll have the energy you need to get the things that need doing, done, because you’re not spending it all on beating yourself up.
You’ll be able to find a balance between prioritizing fun, while also being a responsible adult, without feeling like you’re constantly being pulled in two different directions.
You’ll understand how to accommodate and work with your beautiful, chaotic, innovative, multi-passionate auDHD brain and build a life that works for you.
And last but certainly not least, you’ll know that stress and bad times will happen, but you’ll allow yourself to feel through it, and have the coping skills you need to make an effective use of your energy during that time, because either way the time will pass.
You can either try and resist it, or you can embrace it.
This program is flexible and can be catered to your individual goals and needs. Here is a general framework for what you can expect during our time together:
During month 1, we focus on your relationship with yourself.
This includes learning how to be nice to yourself, practicing self-compassion, working through shame and internalized ableism, and touching on mindfulness—tailored to suit auDHD brains.
We also delve into getting to know yourself better. This involves understanding your values, feelings, thoughts, and behaviors, and how they all interact with each other.
We’ll explore your typical patterns and cycles and how they show up in your life today. This can include trauma cycles and your natural energy cycles and flow.
We also talk about showing up for yourself with things like self-advocacy, setting your own boundaries, and essentially learning to be your own best friend.
In month two, we move on to your relationship with others, like friends, family, romantic partners, or even your job. The second month is more self-directed, and depending on what you learn in the first month, we will work together to see which specific areas or relationships you may want to focus on.
- A total of 8 weeks
- Includes 6 individual sessions with me on Zoom, to allow for 2 break/integration weeks
- Sessions are 30-60 minutes depending on the week, and the number of topics you want to discuss
- Email support during the day M-F for questions and reflections between sessions
- Individualized worksheets & exercises
Cost: $175/week, for a total of $1,400
Interested? Join my email list to be the first to know when spots open up again:
Statement of Scope and Competency
I strive to hold space and offer solutions that are human-centered, trauma-informed, and inclusive of each individual’s lived experience and social identities. I have completed a trauma-informed space holding curriculum, am actively engaged in anti-racism study and work, and in deconstructing capitalistic standards and values.
I want to make it clear that I cannot guarantee a safe space for you. I recognize that you are the judge of what feels safe and expansive for you. My intention is to allow you to access your internal safety as best as you can in our current social climate through ample consent, choice, and clarity in our time together.
My offers and services are not meant to be a replacement for therapy. I will remain within my scope of practice when engaging with you and my work, and will refer out to qualified individuals for more aligned support when necessary.